It’s not you, it’s me.
It has always been me.
When you do something or say something that brings up emotion in me, I respond.
That’s what human beings do.
It’s easy for me to judge, criticize and condemn what you say and do.
But it’s how I choose to respond that is the real problem.
It’s what I choose to hear. It’s the story I make up about what you do, or don’t do.
I assume I know exactly why you do it, or what motivated you to say what you did.
But I can never be sure what was going on inside your head.
My response is the problem, not what you do or say.
Most of life’s greatest hurts and letdowns are self-inflicted .. they are simply efforts to avoid or deflect away from our own internal wounds and pain.
We take an external event and internalize it in the worst possible way – by blaming someone else for it.
It’s so easy to place blame at the feet of others.
It’s so hard to place blame at your own feet, and take responsibility.
Yet the moment you do, you create a new freedom and power that’s unlike anything you’ll ever access if you try to make it about anyone other than you.
When I feel myself moving to judgement, the first question to ask is – what is this bringing about in me that I need to recognize and release?
To accept responsibility for everything that happens to you is difficult. Requires courage. And forces you to question your own strength. Your morals. Your beliefs.
But it becomes a powerful way to demonstrate those very things to yourself. By stepping into what you create and owning it.
If everything in your life right now is not exactly as you want it, there is only one true solution to changing those things you need to change.
You must become 100% responsible for what you’ve done, where you are, and where you’re going.
There is no alternative and to pretend otherwise is simply fooling yourself.
Personal freedom begins at the mantle of accountability. The moment you accept full responsibility for everything in your life, you instantly step into a position of being able to change it.
As long as you point to outside forces or reasons to explain why you aren’t exactly where you want to be, you choose to be a victim – out of control of your situation.
Accountability is where building a great life begins.
And without it, there shall be no freedom.